


lmao fuck that pruple dildo we can have fun without him

by floralhearts



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Bruce is shook, Gen, Humor, I mean, Peter is pure, also everyone fucking hates him, also loki has a cat, and he also just rlly loves his cat u guys, and loki and valkyrie fight a lot, and shes cute, bucky is chilling in wakanda, clint is done with everything, especially Loki, hes also an idiot, i lov e them sm, its me, just chilling with his goat army its all g, loki really fucking wants to be redeemed, lokis a lil bitch, maybe angst idk, nat and tchalla are just kind of there watching everything, only bc they secretly love eachother deep deep DEEP down, sambucky banter, shuri and peter are bros, so there will most likely be angst, steve is the language police, who doesnt understanf humans
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-22
Updated: 2018-06-22
Packaged: 2019-05-26 19:55:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,375
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15008243
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/floralhearts/pseuds/floralhearts
Summary: loki has left the group!spider child: i dont hate you loki!!spider child: ohspider child: he already left :(





	lmao fuck that pruple dildo we can have fun without him

**Author's Note:**

> lmao if u cant deal with characters being ooc then dont read this and dont complain to me that "loKi would never saY that!!!11!!1!!!"

**peter parker has added shuri, steve rogers, bucky, t’challa, and tony stark to the group!**

tony stark: what the fresh hell is this 

peter parker: avengers gc! 

peter parker: actually more like a ‘everyone who got to punch or at least wanted to punch that egotistical grape’ gc!

shuri: but we don’t have anyone’s @’s 

peter parker: so u can see our dilemma

tony stark: it’s been like a year since we fought thanos peter

peter parker: i know but still

peter parker: beter late than never :))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

peter parker: so everyone who fought him is invited to our litty times gc

shuri: i hate you

tony stark: so the guardians too?

peter parker: do they even have phones

peter parker: do phones even work in space

shuri: my boy peter out here asking the important questions

tony stark: SHIT

tony stark: i knew i forgot to do something

tony stark: kid remind me to give them phones next time they drop by

shuri: stark u are gettign off track

peter parker: true

peter parker: add everyone!!

tony stark: idk everyone but i’ll add everyone i have and they can add everyone they have and so on

peter parker: K

shuri: did u rlly just text K

shuri: u dry ass texter

**tony stark added natasha romanoff, bruce banner, thor odinson, and clint barton!**

bruce banner: a groupchat?

peter parker: y e s 

bruce banner: oh ok! what for?

shuri: everyone who fought thanos! (excluding the guardians bc we forgot to give them phones before they left)

shuri: add anyone u have in ur contacts

peter parker: that fought thanhoe

**bucky has added sam wilson to the group!**

bucky: ew why’s sam here

sam wilson: yoU’RE LITERSLLY THE ONE THAT ADDED ME

bucky: your point?

shuri: ooh yay sambucky banter

shuri: u know all he ever does is complain about how ugly u are

shuri: when he isnr talkign to his goats that is

tony stark: he talks to his goats??

shuri: a lot

peter parker: ive never rlly met bucky but wow thats such a nucky thing

shuri: NUCKY

peter parker: SHHHUT iT

sam wislon: **did you mean:** _yucky_

bucky: i donr like u and neither do my goats

thor odinson: hello friends! i am in another group chat! what good times!

peter parker: thor!!!

thor odinson: spider child!!!

shuri: SspIDER CHILD IM CACKLIGN

**peter parker has changed their name to spider child!**

spider child: if it;s what thor calls me t hen its automatically correct

thor odinson: so i can invite anyone who fought thanos?

spider child: !!!!

spider child: omg wait do u have loki

spider child: pls add loki he was such a good time last time i met him fkjhsdh

tony stark: he said he was going to teach u how to stab me without getting blood on the knfe how does that even work

spider child: a good time!!

tony stark: peter he lead an alien invasion

spider child: **a good time**

**thor odinson has added loki to the group!**

loki: i dont exactly know what this is

spider child: fuck thanos group chat!!

shuri: it gets more aggressive every time u try and explain it

loki: oh alright then

clint barton: why did we add a literal supervillain to our gc?

spider child: clint no

spider child: he’s fun now

spider child: and he’d probably only murder us if like

shuri: one of us took his cat

clint barton: he has a cat??

clint barton: who would give him a cat

tony stark: ok i know it sound dumb

tony stark: but he really likes the cat

loki: [IMG_245]

loki: her name is lila

spider child: i actually never found out why u named her that hfksdh

shuri:^^^^ me neither

loki: there was a young maiden named lila who was saving other mortals during the final battle

loki: she was removing them from debris and giving them medical care

loki: she was determined and had a very fiery personality

loki: and this cat reminded her of me

spider child:,,,,

spider child: loki thats literally so pure what the fujdshf

shuri: rt

clint barton: so he’s redeemed bc he has a cat?

spider child: pretty much yeah lmao

clint barton: i hate all of you

steve rogers: i am late but hello

bucky: oh hey steve

sam wilson: hey steve

sam wilson: shut up barnes

bucky: i literally hate u so much i’m going to send a goat army to ur doorstep

shuri: i’ll pay for airfare

peter parker: and i’ll give thme your address!!!

sam wilson: dont sound so excited abt it peter

spider child: the day i stop excessively using exclamation points is the day loki decides to betray us

tony stark: that’ll probably be pretty soon kid

spider child: nO

spider child: IT WAS SUPPOSED TO MEAN NEVER

loki: at least one person has faith in me

thor odinson: what about me :(

shuri: and me :(

loki: ok u too i guess

clint barton: why would i have faith in u

clint barton: u literally mind controlled me and killed phil

loki: ok a) that was thanos not me u overrated katniss everdeen

spider child: IM WHEESZING

loki: and b) phil???

natasha romanoff: you don’t remember?

clint barton: you don’t fucking remember?

thor odinson: how do you not remember?

tony stark: loki how do u fucking forget killing someone

loki: who did i kill????

loki: when???

clint barton: When you invaded you stabbed Phil Coulson and killed him. Are you fucking telling me you don’t even have enough decency to remember the people you killed?

loki: he didn’t die?

loki: i only stabbed him once?

tony stark: IN THE FUCKING HEART

loki: he died?

natasha romanoff: Yes.

loki: humans die from that?

tony stark: YES

_loki is typing…_

**loki has left the group**

spider child: oh no :(

tony stark: did he

tony stark: did he actually not fucking know humans die from getting stabbed in the heart

steve rogers: i can’t tell

bucky: is the that dumb?

sam wilson: wow funny thats what i said when i heard you didn’t know what google was

bucky: leAVE ME ALONE IM OLD

shuri: oh no he fucking didn’t

**shuri has added loki to the group!**

shuri: no one fucking escapes this hell u bitch

tony stark: the language police (steve) is quaking

clint barton: at thos point i cant tell if it woyld be better or worse if he didn’t know 

loki: ok so fandral was fucking lying?

thor odinson: what

loki: he told me humans had three hearts??

loki: but i just googled it and 

loki: spoiler alert they dont

shuri: how did loki pick up our slang so quick

spider child: theyve lived her e for a year now

shuri: oh yeah lmao

loki: literally what the fuck was fandral on

loki: i lived my whole life thinking humans had three hearts???

thor odinson: i cant tell whos the bigger idiot here

thor odinson: u or fandral

bruce banner: loki,,,, did u actually think that- ohmygod

bruce banner: on our space trip u could have stabbed me in the heart and literally thought i was going to be fine o h m y g o d

t’challa: three hearts????

tony stark: IMFUCKINGCACKLING

tony stark: YOU IDOIT HDDHDH

steve rogers: sorry to burst your asgardian bubble but that is incorrect

loki: I KNW THAT NOW

loki: ok ur laughing at me but this wasnt my fault leaeve me alone 

loki: oh wait i have a person to add

shuri: dont try and chnage the subject

**loki has added valkyrie to the group!**

valkyrie: whats up fuckers

shuri: oh damn i already like her

valkryie: what is this?

loki: gc for everyone that hates thanos

loki: and me apparentky

valkyrie: we could add the whole damn universe and that wouldn’t even be everyone that hates you

thor odinson: rt

clint barton: RT

tony stark: rt

steve rogers: rt

natasha romanoff: rt 

bruce banner: rt

bucky: rt

sam wilson: rt

loki: LITERALLY FUCK YOU GUYS

**loki has left the group!**

spider child: i dont hate you loki!!

spider child: oh

spider child: he already left :(

shuri: i’m going to wait like a whole ass day before i add him back kjfhsd


End file.
